


stronger together

by thelesterhowells



Series: phandom bingo 2018 [4]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Babysitting, Established Relationship, M/M, dan talks about his therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-25
Updated: 2018-10-25
Packaged: 2019-08-07 09:55:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16406210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelesterhowells/pseuds/thelesterhowells
Summary: "However, Dan was absolutely not prepared to hear a crying baby while he was walking up to their flat. He hurried up the stairs impatiently to check out what kind of mess Phil got himself into."





	stronger together

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much to [@spookyscaryskelephans](https://spookyscaryskelephans.tumblr.com/) for reading this over for me and to [@stressedoutteenager](https://stressedoutteenager.tumblr.com/) for the feedback <3
> 
> hope you enjoy! :)

Dan was on his way back home to Phil from a therapy session. It felt great to be back on a regular schedule without trying to squish in a Skype call with his therapist while being on tour.

Sometimes these appointments were incredibly draining and exhausting because some of the topics are hard for Dan to talk about, but he knows that he has to do it in order to feel better. In the long run it’s helpful to dig out all the things that make him miserable and distressed and have lengthy conversations about them. Even if that means that he has to cry throughout the whole session, has to leave the building with a blotchy red face and has to treat himself even more nicely when he gets home that day.

But it’s worth it. It’s always worth it because after a while the heavy feeling surrounding those topics begins to lift and Dan can talk about them without crying or reacting too badly.

Today was one of those days where it felt like the weight squeezing his heart finally left him completely because his future didn’t scare him anymore.

Being a closeted couple in the public eye and simultaneously wanting to start a family was something that didn’t really go well together. But Dan and Phil started leaving their internet personas, grew way more confident in their online presence and that began to shape their future plans - in the best way possible.

They could truly talk about their forever home, dogs and children without having to reduce themselves to only dream about it because being more open on the internet gives them the opportunity to actually  _ be _ two people in a relationship.

So, when he talked with his therapist about Phil and his’ future together, he talked about actual plans instead of only the fears surrounding it. He talked about the pressure that was put onto them from adoption agencies, struggles with house hunting, dog and kids’ names, domestic bickering about interior choices and how to handle all of this online. And every time Dan talked about adopting a kid he could feel his eyes get incredibly small because of the huge grin that formed on his face.

However, Dan was absolutely not prepared to hear a crying baby while he was walking up to their flat. He hurried up the stairs impatiently to check out what kind of mess Phil got himself into.

The voices got louder with every step, he could very clearly hear Phil trying to calm down the crying baby by mumbling “shhh” over and over again in an incredibly soft voice.

Dan opened the front door and followed the noises into the living room where he was greeted by pure chaos. There was clothing laying everywhere on the floor, the couch, the dining table and inbetween Dan spotted a few brightly coloured toys. On the coffee table he could see a baby bottle with leftover food in it.

And in the middle of all of this was Phil, walking around with a baby close to his chest trying to stop the crying by slowly rocking it up and down and gently stroking circles on the baby’s back.

As Dan watched the scene right in front of him there was so much happiness and softness flooding his heart. And there is this feeling that he can’t really describe. This feeling that makes his brain whisper  _ "home".  _

Despite all the fondness he was feeling Dan asked, “Is that Ian and Lauren’s kiddo? Did you kidnap their son, Phil? What happened?”

Phil looked up at him and kind of resembled a deer caught in headlights.

“They asked us to babysit very last minute. Their usual babysitter is in the hospital...or something - I don’t know. But they sounded so desperate. And now I’m desperate! I don’t know what to do, Dan.”

Dan chuckled at that; it just sounded so much like Phil. Of course he said yes even though he was alone at home and kind of terrified of children. Not because he didn’t like them, he was just overly scared to hurt them.

“Ok, what did you already do?”

“I’ve fed him so he shouldn’t be hungry. I changed his diapers so that shouldn’t be a problem either. And uhh...yeah. That’s it,” Phil looked at him expectantly.

“Well, good. Ok, give Max to me I’ll try and get him to burp. That’s...what you do, right? After feeding them? And you can start tidying this mess,” Dan instructed and to be fair he didn’t really know what to do either, but he was sure they could wing it somehow.  

Now Dan was the one walking around in the room trying to calm down Max while Phil tried to make their home presentable again.

“Maybe he needs some love,” Phil said after a while.

Dan looked at him surprised, “What do you mean?”

“Well, my mum always said: If a child is still crying after being fed and cleaned up  _ then _ that child needs some proper love and affection.”

“Max,” Dan said in his typical “babies and animals” voice while holding him up a bit and looking him directly in the face, “do you need some more affection? Phil, he says we cuddle him enough. He’s pretty content, apparently. He...just needs to get out this burp...aaaand he wants to sleep.”

Phil glared at him with a look that was a pretty good imitation of Dan’s ‘this guy’ face.

“Why are you looking at me like that, mate? That’s not what I’m saying, those are Max’s words.” Simultaneously to Dan finishing his sentence, they could unquestionably hear Max burp, which resulted in him finally stopping crying and looking around with a confused look on his little face.

“There you go, mister,” Dan exclaimed and cuddled Max closer to his chest, smiling at Phil who looked incredibly relieved.

“It’s quite late. We should probably try getting him to fall asleep, huh?”

“Yes, I think so. Here, take Max. I’m going to take a shower and stuff. You ok being on your own?”

“Course I am, mate,” Phil said, holding his arms out and making grabby hands until he took hold of Max again.

-

When Dan came back his heart skipped a beat seeing how cute Phil looked with a tiny human being cuddled up to his chest. He stared a bit at the scene right in front of him and imagined a future where this would be a daily thing. 

“He doesn’t want to sleep. Do you, Max?” Phil said when he noticed Dan standing there leaned against the door frame.

“He probably needs a bit more time,” Dan said and walked over to sit down right beside Phil’s feet.

“Yes, but he also needs to sleep. I was thinking - maybe...we could play “Exogenesis” Part 3 from Muse.” 

“What - why should we play that? That’s not even a lullaby or something?” Dan chuckled.

“Yeah...but you always liked listening to it when you were sick or couldn’t sleep back in the day. So I thought we could try it,” Phil explained and Dan’s heart felt too warm, suddenly. He loved this nostalgic side of Phil, he loved that he remembered so much of their time together; he loved how Phil loved him. 

Without any more discussion Dan said, “Ok - yeah. Let’s try it.” 

So he fetched the tablet from the coffee table and played the song. The whole room was instantly flooded by the soft and slow piano sounds turning everything into a peaceful atmosphere. Max looked up and around for a second before pressing his head back against Phil’s chest. He was asleep even before the 4:37 minutes were over. 

When Max’ parents arrived to collect him, they thanked both of them profoundly for jumping in to save them last minute. 

“It’s really not a problem. We’d be happy to do it again sometime,” Phil said with a grin on his face and to be honest Dan couldn’t agree more. 

“I’m actually super impressed with you two. I didn’t think that you’d be able to put him to sleep. He has been so restless lately and has so much trouble sleeping,” Ian said and looked at them truly impressed. 

Dan and Phil both chuckled at that and looked at each other.    


“Well,” Phil said, “we have our ways.” 

Before Ian could ask anything else Lauren came back from settling Max into the baby carrier and they left pretty quickly after that scared that Max could wake up. 

-

“Do you think we’ll be good parents?” Phil asked when they got into bed. 

“Yeah, I think so. Why? Do you think we’ll suck?” 

Phil moved closer, nestled his head right in the crook of Dan’s neck and put his arms around his waist. 

“I’m not...I mean I’m not necessarily convinced that we’re gonna be bad parents. I’m just scared that we’re - that I’m gonna fuck up, I guess. You’ve seen for yourself how much I struggled before you came in.” 

Dan kissed the top of Phil’s head before beginning to speak, “We’re in this together, Phil. You’ll never be alone. Also, you weren’t exactly doing a bad job, were you? He was not hungry, his diapers were clean and Ian himself said that he has trouble sleeping currently.” 

“I  _ know _ you’re right, but my brain’s still telling me that I’m gonna hurt our future children.”

“My mum always said that it’s different with your own child. I mean I’m absolutely sure that it’s gonna be hard as fuck and - you know...that we’re gonna make a lot of mistakes. But mum always said that you’re not  _ that _ scared if it’s your kiddo,” Dan said in a reassuring tone. 

“You think that’s actually true?” Phil didn’t sound convinced at all. 

“How should I know, mate? I never had a kid,” Dan chuckled. 

“I’m scared too, you know. It’s not that I think we’re gonna ace that shit. I just think that as long as we’re doing it together we’re gonna figure it out. Just like today. Just like I got Max to fricking burp and you put him to sleep because your genius brain wanted to play Muse,” Dan said, gently stroking Phil’s arm. 

“I mean, it doesn’t really matter right now. The adoption agency still didn’t get back to us,” Phil reminded him. 

“Yeah, but when they do, we’re gonna be ready.” 

Dan lifted up Phil’s head and rearranged both of them so it would be more comfortable to connect his lips with Phil’s. The kiss was slow and without any intention to let it go further. Dan captured Phil’s bottom lip with his own, bit down gently, ran his fingers through Phil’s hair. While Phil kissed back eagerly, put his big hand on Dan’s jaw and partly on his neck knowing that he would love that. 

The whole kiss felt familiar, peaceful and like home and Dan knew that as long as Phil felt like his home they could figure everything out.

-

Phil already had his night light switched off and was actively trying to sleep. Before Dan laid down properly and moved closer to cuddle Phil, he fetched his phone from the nightstand and sent a message to Ian:

_ try playing exogenesis part 3 from muse next time max can’t sleep :D maybe it’ll help  _

 

**Author's Note:**

> [come and say hi and maybe reblog on tumblr](https://thelesterhowells.tumblr.com/post/179429938247/stronger-together) :)


End file.
